Over the past few months, I have been on a spiritual journey, seeking to uncover and discover more of the truth of who I am as a human being. Change and movement are pushing me to step outside the known walls and boundaries of my life, searching for new connections and a more authentic expression of all that I am as a person. Life is beckoning me to open up to new adventures, greater knowledge, and a deeper understanding of Love and its power to heal and transform our human existence.
It's incredible how easy it is to, unintentionally, create, inhabit and hide inside a box and allow the limitations of its' range to represent not only us but also the definition, expression, and meaning of our lives. "Think outside the box" is a phrase we often use to encourage ourselves and others to ponder, seek, and do things differently. Doing so from a perspective not ordinarily available in the cramped quarters we occupy daily. The truth is, we are always much bigger than the box to begin with. In fact, we're too big to fit all of our dreams, ideas, and abilities into one self-defining, limited space labeled 'I Am.'
The 'I Am 'box is the most common one to get locked into. Out of the necessity to give purpose and meaning to our existence, we offer the world our labels in exchange for their acknowledgment, recognition, admiration, and even exaltation. In most cases, the 'I Am 'label tells people what we do, but, rarely, who we indeed are.
I have discovered that my 'I Am 'box is 'Spiritual Leader/Teacher. For the past twenty years, that is how I've thought of and knew myself to be. It's a pretty heady self-definition to walk through life with, not to mention the weight of responsibility and consequence that necessarily accompanies such a declaration of wisdom and power. The same power that elevated me separated me, setting me apart from other human beings and, sometimes, myself and my humanity.
During the time of 'my reign' (humor intended), I was, of course, placed on a pedestal by others and unceremoniously knocked off the same pedestal by the people who so generously constructed it for my use. Fair enough. The 'pedestal treatment' was expected and came with the territory. It doesn't, however, lessen the human pain and grief suffered by seemingly failing the people depending on you for Love and guidance.
In truth, those who are sincere in their Love for humanity never choose such a role but are chosen by the role. Thus, compelled on levels not always understood, by self or others, we take on the part and embrace it with every inch of our being. We never really think about 'pedestals' and 'power' or our own needs; our minds and hearts are too busy tuning in to the signs of Truth that we are bound and driven to share with others. The second part of my 'I Am' discovery was realizing that 'Spiritual Leader/Teacher' is what I do. It is not who I am.
One of the greatest joys of my life is teaching people about Love. It's second nature to me, and my life suffers an unbearable emptiness when I am not engaged in dialogue and expression of Love in that way. It's not so much a gift of wisdom or knowledge, but it's the boundless enthusiasm and desire I have for the subject that imbues me with the insight and ability to teach it. And so, in keeping with the truth of 'following one's bliss,' I am going to resume my role as a spiritual teacher in the world. There is still an abundance of Path information available for me to share. However, I will not renew my belief that my 'role' is who I am.
Love is definitely in the air. Heed its call and follow your hearts and your dreams. Take time to explore and get to know who you are outside your 'I Am' box.
Original Post: 10/7/2008