Monea:  Good Evening. This is Monea. How is everyone doing tonight?

Allies:  Mumbled responses.

Monea:  Well, that was very telling. We have two "very wells, fine, and one not very well." It seems like it will be an interesting evening tonight. It is great that everyone is here. I want to welcome you all back again.


I hope that everyone did or attempted to do the homework because that will be the subject of the evening. I want to get some feedback from all of you about your week and how you faired. What feelings, shall we say, came up and how you felt. What did things look like, and how were they different from before we had last week's session.


What I'm trying to assess is how the last session impacted your week and your lives. To see where everyone is at in the present. Knowing this will give me a sense of where it is I want to take you next. It is going to be that way with this group. We're going to check in with each other so that I know where you're at on your path.

When beginning Path work, you must get the concept down very clearly. Otherwise, if we go in and you are still unsure what something means or how to do it, we will find ourselves going back to address that particular subject or issue. However, if we get clear about it initially, we won't have to do that down the road. So, how we address it in the very beginning is to have you check in with me. I ask you questions, and by answering them, you let me know that you have learned what I intended to teach you.


The energy in the room is strange tonight. I have to speak about it because your energy, as I am sensing it, is somewhat off-balance. I want all of you to try to relax as much as possible. It will help a great deal if everyone allows themselves to relax, kick back, and think of this time as a time for you to find your center and address issues that are important to you. Also, give yourself a little space to be without all the concerns you usually have to deal with in your lives. I know that it is sometimes a bit difficult when your perceived problems are right there with you. But, if you can put a bit of space between them and yourself for a while and relax, it will make this a really enjoyable and informative evening.


What I'm interested in is a little information on how the week went. You don't have to, at this point, get into all of the feelings that you had. Just let me know how things went. When I say the week, let me be specific. By that, I mean any insights or concerns that have come up for you, either today, last Friday, or any other time during the week. Anyone can go first.


Ally B:  Hi. This is B, Monea.


Monea:  Yes, hello, B.


I am, first of all, guilty of not being able to write in my journal. I say 'not being able to' because there wasn't anything I could say that I could write down. If I recall correctly, you wanted feelings about what was going on, etcetera. And, I think I had more thoughts than I had feelings. Nothing came to me. I just kept looking at a blank page, waiting to write. But that's part and parcel of my week. The major event of the week for me was the feeling that I was blocking myself. Like I'm holding myself back, which is somewhat of an old story. But I feel differently now; I don't want to do that anymore.


One thing that has happened over the past couple of months about myself––not a revelation––but something that I was trying to keep hidden. Something I would rather not deal with popped to the surface. It didn't bother me as much as I thought it would to think about, deal with, and accept it. It was a negative issue about myself that was, for some reason, relatively easy to accept, see it for what it was, and how doing that would make a difference. So, I'm sort of there, but I'm here as well. I did create my own obstacle course.


Monea:  What I would say to you, B, is that you said it very well. In the sense that you had more thoughts than you had feelings. And, you didn't find the appropriate time to address your feelings while staring at a blank sheet of paper waiting for something to come up.

First, you have to allow for the fact that where you are is okay. Where you are at is where you should be. That's the first thing to know so you don't feel like you have to do anything or be anywhere other than where you are right now. However, where you are right now is not where you will have to stay for the rest of all time. Where you are now is okay––for now.

Even accepting and acknowledging that is the awareness that you will need to change and make a shift. I am not concerned at all about what you described your week as being. That has been, shall we say, the modus operandi of your life. It's been the way your life has gone for a long time. To suddenly change that in one week would be a rather strange thing to occur. The change will be something more gradual than very quick, cut, and dry like that.

I would like you to understand that it will take your effort to sit down and say, "I'm going to do this." It will require you to stare at the blank sheet of paper and say, "I know that I am thinking, but I'm going to sit here for a moment and allow myself to feel something. Even if it's just one thing that I can differentiate from a thought in my head." Taking that first step is the most significant step for you. After you see that you can do that, the rest will roll along. But, the first step is your biggest hurdle.

You're going to have to push yourself a little bit to do it. It's not going to be something that you wake up and say, "All right. I'm ready now to sit down with my journal," and be all inspired. It's not going to go that way. It will take you saying, "I have to do this for myself; make myself do this." Everyone has a point where they have to encourage themselves a little bit. After the first push, then you start things rolling. What prompting yourself is all about is you saying, "I am committed to doing this." You are announcing your intention to make something happen by your effort. That's what is going to occur with you. You're going to have to choose to push yourself.

That simple choice of sitting down and doing that impacts the more complex choices you will make later, like, starting to deal with your life from another perspective and focusing on what makes you tick to understand who you are and how to navigate your life. The small movement has a more significant impact, and it is what you must do to propel yourself forward. Do you know what I'm saying?

Ally B: I understand.

Monea:  It is no judgment, and it is not to say that it should have happened last week. It will happen when it happens. I wanted to give you an idea of what it will be like––not an inspiration, but with effort. The inspirational stuff will come, and when it does, it feels good, and it's a lot of fun. But, it starts with the effort first. With that, you open the door for the rest to happen. Okay?

Ally B:  Okay.


Monea:  Who would like to go next, please?

Ally M:  This is M, Monea.

Monea:  Hello, M.

Ally M:  Hello. Let's see. It felt like there was a tiny shift in the birthday party for my daughter. At first, it felt like the last one where I would be a workhorse and do it perfectly. But, I've been making some mistakes. I'm feeling very willing to give up perfection.


Monea:  Um, good!


Ally M:  I had a visualization of two suitcases. One each from my mother and my father. I dropped them in a lake-size body of water from the center place within me (sigh of relief and laughter).


Monea: That's very good!


Ally M:  It feels like some baby steps like I'm ready to stand on my own feet. Rather than be propped up by the environment I had as a child. It was curious that I couldn't keep myself from writing. The therapy session on Tuesday was good. I wasn't finished with the tears afterward or with figuring out why they were coming. So, I sat in the park for an hour and cried and wrote some more.


It's becoming clear. It's the same old stuff I worked on about my father, the violence, and all. But, it's from a different perspective. Not from the place of being a victim so much as that my parents were teachers for me. And, I've come to a place where I am daring to stand on my own feet. So, there has been a shift. Still not finding my center as quickly as I would like to (laughing).


Monea:  That will come in time. Last week, when you spoke about what you should do, I advised finding your center. To go within and meditate from that place, with a visual of you on the path, and say that you would be willing to start allowing yourself to let go. And, in doing that, things would begin to shift. I see that they have.

I want to say that a willingness to allow things to do whatever they need, let go, know, become, and do anything is very powerful. You will all notice that it is a valuable declaration if you ever find yourself stuck needing to know, release or get clear about anything. If you repeat to yourself and the universe, "I am willing to know, let go, receive." Willingness is what you do when you don't know what to do, but you know something needs to happen.

It is saying that as much as I know how to do, I have done. But, I am willing to have this happen. You will then allow the universe to bring to you what you need to start the ball rolling. It's a very powerful statement of intention that is heard immediately and compels things to start happening.

What I want to say to you, M is to stay where you are. Allow yourself to travel that territory and get to know what those feelings are. Allow them to come up so that you can become acquainted with them and gain your new perspective. It feels good like you're starting to make a definitive shift now. Let yourself travel that territory.

There's nothing that you have to hurry up and finish. Allow yourself to feel all of what it is like to sense yourself moving from one phase of your life to another. That perspective of that movement will leave a solid impression on you. It will be something beneficial to you further down the path.

There's a word that describes what you are about to do, and it is called process. Watch what happens to your life. Feel your way through this entire cycle of things that are going to occur. Later on, you will be able to duplicate the process structure you used to go through it and apply it over and over again for a lot of different
things in your life. So watch what that feels like, and don't hurry through it. Every part of the process is significant and has its specific experiences and lessons. 

What you shared is very good. I feel a calmness about what is happening to you. There is an underlying sense of being in the appropriate place and supported there despite all the emotional stuff. Whatever happens around you while you're moving through it, you have that protection. So don't worry about it. Things may be up and down emotionally, but you are walking on solid ground. Remember that, okay? You're doing just fine.

Ally M:  Thank you.


Monea:  All right, N?


Ally N:  Well, this was a very intense week for me. My question last week in our session is what started it all off. I had a sense of what you were saying at the time, even though I knew I would have to listen to it again to understand it better. But, even before I heard it again, I was at the park one day, and what you meant kind of clicked into place. I could absolutely see how I've done that, in terms of the real me and what I've come to call the cheap imitation or something like that. And I was struck by that so much.


I will share with M & B that what we are doing in the other group is picking an issue and working through it using the process. So, my homework for that group was to choose a subject, and not being my authentic self became my issue. I could see how many other things would fall into place if I could work through that one. I've just been getting into situations now that bring up lots of emotions, and I'm not used to it. It feels hard. I feel so vulnerable (emotional, clearing her throat).


Monea:  All right. Well, what I would like to say about that––and I would like everyone to pay attention––when you are going through something like what N is experiencing here, it can be quite a startling shift in how you express yourself. An old way of generally dealing across the board is starting to disintegrate, go away, and be let go, out of necessity for the being's growth.


For N to grow any further, the growth must be connected to her authentic self. The outer persona of her being is no longer an appropriate one to express who she is. It just doesn't work anymore. Were she able to stay the same as she is now––or has been all of the years of her life––that would be one thing. But, she agreed to grow beyond that. When making such an agreement and commitment, there has to be a major shift so that she can, indeed, continue to grow.


A whole way of dealing in the world, with herself and other people, is coming to a close. It's a very startling kind of transformation to make. One might ask why such a big transformation all at once? To answer that is to say that you have to consider that no one gets anything they are not ready for or can't handle. More than that, people generally choose what it is they want to go through. How big or how small they want it to be.

So, that one doesn't look at N and say, "Poor, N." One could look at N and say, "That was a very courageous choice on your part." Acknowledging not that she is a victim, but that she has chosen bravely to make a huge shift in her life that she is very capable of dealing with. The vulnerability that comes from it is that who you have been, you no longer are. What you are becoming has yet to take shape. So, somewhere in between the old and the new, there you are, rather exposed and seemingly unprotected.

The feeling of being unprotected is very valid because that is how you are sensing it. But, in truth, you are at your most protected. However, not in the way that you have been accustomed to being. Not in a way that allows you to feel in control. You are going to learn something about the wisdom and the power of vulnerability. And the limited expression of control when you put it side-by-side with vulnerability. Control in its limited expression is no longer appropriate for someone trying to grow beyond that way of being. So, you're not going to be able to use your controls; you're going to be vulnerable and open.


Your protection will come from the universe and your soul. They will protect you through this. Not by making you feel like you're in control, but in an authentic way, by allowing you to feel out of control for a while. It's about weaning you from control and trying to get you hooked on vulnerability. That is why you're going to feel a little bit out in the water all by yourself. But, if you keep in mind that you are not alone––you are very protected––and allow those feelings to come up, you will draw people to you who can support you through this. It is not as daunting as it seems to be when looked at all at once. The changes will come just like the days and the nights come and go. They don't get dumped on you all at once.


But, it is a significant shift. Were I to say that it's no big deal would be a story, and I won't tell you a story. But. I will say that this is the biggest one that your being will have to go through this lifetime. Once you make it through this, all the others will follow, and you will understand them. But, the first one is the teaching one. That is why it is the most impacting one. You have to allow yourself to feel your way through it. You won't be able to figure it out with your brain. It's like being blindfolded and going through something, relying only on your senses and feeling your way through it. You're going to learn to utilize that knowingness in a very real way because it's going to directly connect you to your own survival. And, in using it that way, you can own the territory of your journey in a permanent way.

See the beauty in what is about to happen. You're going to get to know who you are, to meet yourself for the first time this lifetime, the person you initially chose to be when you decided to come here. That is pretty remarkable. It is a grand occasion to get to the point that you can truly get to meet yourself. The beauty, splendor, and wonder in that is something incredible to look forward to. And to take courage in knowing that all of this is for your good and that of all the people connected to you.

You will not fail. The worst of it will be that you will scrape your knees a couple of times. But then you will get up, dry your tears, and continue. There's no way to fail or to do it wrong. To be present for it is all that is required. Whatever happens, being present is the key. So, you do not get to be hard on yourself, and we don't get to treat you like you are a poor thing. That would be inappropriate. You are quite a courageous soul, and we should more look you directly in the eye with a little bit of awe that you've chosen to take on so much. We have a great deal of respect for what you are doing.


I notice that I may seem distant. I am supportive and as close as I always am and will be. But, I am allowing you to get a sense of your strength around this. So that when you acknowledge the support, it's not solely coming from other places. I am giving you your space to support yourself and get a sense of how strong you are to be doing this in the first place. 


Do you understand what I am saying?

Ally N:  Oh, yes. Thank you very much.



 

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