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The Path: Updates, Journey & History

Love Yourself 101 / Healing A Legacy Of Pain

The internal alarm clock that signals a sometimes desperate need for change is pain. But not just any pain will do. There is this one pain, this legacy, a secret, gnawing fear, rooted in everything we feel, think, and believe about ourselves. This pain is not just unbearable because of its intensity; it's mostly unbearable because of its duration. It's real, it hurts, and no matter what we do, or have ever done, it never goes away.

We often reel from the despair and the hopelessness it brings up in us. Our coping response is to swallow it, temporarily burying it in some unknown place in our bodies and psyches. We then offer up a feigned smile or grimace to our lives and our relationships, and stumble along, numb, emotionally congested, and mentally freaked out.

Mostly, we live in silent fear, counting down the clock, knowing that one day our resolve not to dissolve, to stay afloat, to keep from completely unraveling will snap and break. We fear that this pain, with its unreasonable toll, will rip us and our lives apart, or silence our minds and hearts until we become a mere shell of the person we once were or could have been. And, in the end, who will be there, who will care enough about us to pick up all the missing pieces of our lives? What will be left of us? How will we survive?

Believe it or not, this pain is generic; it's a human pain. It's the 'pain gene' that passes on to each person, from generation to generation. The good news is that it is not personal to you, me, or any other person. We didn't earn or deserve it for something we did wrong. We were born with this 'pain gene. It is activated upon our arrival into this life and our inclusion in our family of origin. It, thus, becomes a foundational aspect of our personal experience and our life expression.

The source of this 'pain gene' is Fear. We carry and pass on this gene, not because we're bad people, but because we are asleep, unaware, and in a state of amnesia about the truth of who we are––and why we're even alive. Although some would say that this lack of self-knowledge is a necessary mystery, built into the human experience, we say that it is unnecessary blindness that hinders and blocks the human race's natural evolution and healing.

Love is the opposite of Fear and is the antidote to this 'pain gene.' Self-love is the specific application of Love that allows every human being to awaken, remember, and heal the pain of not knowing; therefore, not loving who we are. Loving ourselves is a formal introduction between us and our being. It is how we welcome, accept, and embrace, in Love, the one person we can always count on, trust, and believe in.

When we are walking through our lives, hurt, angry, dissatisfied, confused, hopeless, without direction, lonely, desperate, and unhappy, we are suffering from this 'pain gene' and the unbearable absence of our love for ourselves. The good news is that we have the opportunity, the power, and the choice to invest the necessary time and energy to learn how to love ourselves. We can then use Love as a medicine to finally heal this legacy of pain and begin to live with hope, vision, and the courage to create a new expression of our lives.

We can also start a new legacy by supporting our loved ones to learn how to love themselves. If we teach our children, when they are young, the necessity and the value of loving themselves, they will grow up with self-love as the foundation for how they walk their lives. In this way, the human race will begin to evolve, and Love will replace Fear as our planet's energy of choice.

Listen to the audio version at 'Let's Get Inspired!.'


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