top of page

The Path: Updates, Journey & History

The Writer’s Corner - The Breach, Chapter - 16

Image: Patrick Fore

Please Note:

You can click for  Chapter 16,    Book Content & Chapter Links (1-12) , Chapter 13 or Chapter 14, or Chapter 15, after you've read the post).


Hello, Allies In Love

Apologies for the delay!

Get ready for a 180-degree change of mind, heart, and spirit! I’m thrilled to share an update on my new course of action with you.

When last we spoke, I had decided to move The Breach to Substack and post my novel, The Untimely Life Of Samantha Breedlow, on the platform. I also planned to create an audio podcast of my book, The Path: A Journey Into The Light: The Journey From Fear To Love.

After much pondering and reflection, while I plan to follow through on all the above-mentioned, I have decided to continue using my website as my hub for these activities. I love my website and find that I do best when working independently with the freedom to build and tailor a work design that supports my rhythm, timeline, and vision for what I desire to create.

What’s coming next?

I will post the remaining chapters of The Breach, Part Two here on my blog.
My work of fiction, The Untimely Life Of Samantha Breedlow, will be posted on the website’s Book section. I will do a blog post to notify you when the first few chapters are up.

While typing this post, I had a ‘stroke of genius’ idea for the audio podcast for The Path Book. As some of you know, I recently started a YouTube channel featuring my past lectures with current ‘sessions’ providing new updates and insights about our journey from Fear to Love.

I am creating a second YouTube channel to feature my library of subliminal templates, which I made to assist and navigate The Path process of learning to love the self, letting go of all types of obstructing fears, learning new beliefs and behaviors, manifesting a new way of walking in Love, and unfolding and learning how to build, grow, and live your life in the 5th Dimension.

Now, stay with me.

The new, genius idea is to create a third channel for the audio version of The Path book. The video aspect would be the written text on the screen–especially helpful for those with hearing issues–which doesn’t distract from listening to the audio and for those who like to read along while listening.

I’m tremendously excited about this project because I continue to be inspired by re-reading the book. Sharing it this way will give me the opportunity to add additional notes/insights I have gained since its publication. I will publish the links to the YouTube chapter episodes on my website so they are readily available here. They also be available on Spotify, where you can download the audio version.

Phew! Lots of hard work and fun to be had.

This is a housekeeping heads-up:

I will be adding an email sign-up form on the Blog, YouTube page, and Book sections to start a mailing list. If you’re showing up in these dedicated areas, I know you are interested in my content. Your email address would allow me to send you updates or a newsletter on what’s currently happening and all upcoming changes and additions to the site. Eventually, I want to create a forum for those interested in coming together and sharing all things Path-related and the stories of our journeys home to Love.

Alright, I think I’m done for the moment!

Thank you from my heart,

M ~


The Breach

When Love, Relationship & Childhood Abuse Collide

Melana Plains

© 2023 Melana Plains 

All Rights Reserved


Part Two

To Know Thyself Is To  Love Thyself

The Healing



As I reflect on my relationship with my Boyfriend, it was in this relationship that the truth of the buried injury finally broke through the surface in such an obvious yet startling way that I could no longer subconsciously or consciously ignore my injured self. My actions completely removed that option from the table and replaced it with new ones: revelations and consequences. 

It didn't matter if my life had prepared me or had not prepared me or even if I understood what was happening. That is one of the many things about how Fear operates inside us that we humans are unaware of. The random and unpredictable way everything happens to us in Fear leaves us unprepared and without a game plan or escape route to handle or counter it. 

If logic prevailed and we knew of another choice or a way to face and deal with such an untimely explosion in our lives, the obvious and only option––that is, if we know it exists––would have been to choose Love. But, looking back at my history, we already know that it was because I didn't know Love and didn't know how to get it other than through a relationship with a man (like my Boyfriend) that I was totally out of luck. Never mind that what we have ever learned about Love is that it is a feeling people share to express a deep and abiding affection, passion, or familial connection. 

Our parents or any adults we knew growing up never taught us that Love was a powerful medium for figuring out and understanding our nature and how to heal all the damages we suffer from living and navigating our lives and relationships with Fear––including our relationship with ourselves. Later, as I began to learn this truth about Love, I realized that the Love I sought when I was a child was this Love, and not the familial or romantic ones, which were, at that time and for many years to follow, the only Love I––or any of us knew of.

This absence of knowledge about Love is one of the main things you must keep reminding yourself of when you choose to go back through your life to see the truth of what happened. Why? Because if you don't, you will inevitably believe that there must have been something you could have done to make things different. If not when you were a child, when you were powerless to protect yourself from the acts of injured adults, then all during your grown-up years, when you realize that you continue to repeat the same injured behavior repeatedly. 

Once you get clear about and through the idea that blaming yourself, your parents, or hating the perpetrators of your injury will make things better for you, there is still the deeply rooted desire that someone is to blame and must face punishment. When you run through all the players in the scenario, those present and involved or absent and unaware, you're the only one to blame. As I said before, children are always willing to blame themselves because, in their innocence and trust, they can't imagine that the people they love and are supposed to love them could ever do anything to hurt them if they didn't deserve it. 

When we are young, the adults in the world are the gods of our universe. Point: no matter how angry a child gets at an adult, if you peel away the anger on the surface, you will discover that forgiveness sits at the very core of every child's heart. And beneath the forgiveness for the adult lies the self-blame of the child. Because of a child's innocence, we, as adults, are assigned to love and protect them. And if we did our jobs well, they would not have to bury their injured feelings in their hearts and shut them down to ward off the pain and hurt that destroys their innocence like the flame that consumes a moth.

Now that we have reviewed the origin of where our template for adult relationships in our lives took root, we can now, for the moment, return to the present and assess our current relationship to relationship status. By focusing on this, how do we feel about the reality of having and being in a relationship now? Are we in one, hoping to be in one, at the beginning, tail end, or end of one, not in one, or have we decided never to be in one again? For example, when I sat down to write this, my' relationship to relationship' status was the most important for several reasons. 

To give you the big picture story of why the subject of relationships and my personal story involving them has been uppermost in my mind, I will introduce a couple of new elements for you to consider but not focus on too deeply for now. You might ask, "Then why bring them up now?" To get a complete picture of what I was dealing with and what influenced my decision to share all this with you, you must know what I was walking through then. Also, it will make it easier for you to track me and follow the journey I am walking you through now. There are always layers and levels to everything we undergo on our path of self-discovery and self-healing. There's so much to learn and understand that we cannot do it all at once.

These new disclosures will also give you a better look at me and how I operate––from the personal to the spiritual guide and teacher and back to the personal again. I have undergone all that I have to understand the nature of Fear and its impact on all aspects of our human existence and to support my healing and growth through it. I then take what I've learned and guide and teach from it. Lastly, I use the healed reality of my discovery to evolve and rebuild myself and my life in Love. 

By sharing the story of my relationship with my Boyfriend, I walked you through my experience in discovering how my childhood injury defined who I was and how I showed up. Now, I want to take you through the teacher/guide part of my equation. This process is where I open up my guidebook and show you the latest discoveries we have made on this journey home to Love.

In my recent work with the people I guide, we have identified and pulled up the Fear-based roots of the foundational aspects that govern our behavior. A primary one of them is the root of the child aspect. Some others were the family root, the emotional root, the sexuality root, and the relationship root. Some roots keep us anchored to the various injuries we have sustained in the walk of our lives, such as physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. 

We pull up all of these roots because they are the originating source that feeds and sustains the Fear-based hurt and anger that we act upon ourselves and others in response to our pain. However, whatever changes we attempt to make in letting go or breaking down the patterns of behavior we engage in are only a temporary fix. Without getting to and eliminating the root of these issues, this never-ending source will continue to reproduce the same outcome. Even with our best intentions to do so, everything will always stay the same.

Once we pull up these roots, Love-based ones gradually replace them with the opposite results of Fear-based ones. The governing reality of all Love-based roots that create the foundation upon which we live our lives is the five aspects of Love: honor, respect, integrity, being real (realness), and telling the truth (truth). We first utilize these five aspects to heal and learn to love ourselves. Then, we examine how we perceive, feel, and think about our interactions and relationships with others.

Once we establish self-love as our operating base, we can begin to deal with the foundational aspects that define and govern our behavior, such as the ones mentioned earlier. The one aspect I want to focus on for our purpose here is the relationship. All acts of human behavior require us to interact with and, therefore, relate to all things that exist, including ourselves. Thus, everything in our human reality is about relationships. They are how we engage with each other in our families, partnerships, and friendships. They also establish our beliefs and ideas in the way we express ourselves emotionally, sexually, spiritually, ethically, racially, and so on. Our relationship with these different aspects of human expression defines how we show up and others' perception of us as a person. 

If we return to looking at your 'relationship to relationship' status now, can you perhaps get a better sense of how to answer the question of where you are from a more informed perspective? Can you see additional elements that might fill in your picture of yourself, feelings, attitudes, ideas, and beliefs about relationships–specifically romantic ones–and their role in your life? How a complex and overlapping network of additional foundational aspects and their roots impact, interact with, and reveal to you things that you were not aware of before about yourself? How they can shape and color your experience of yourself, your relationship, and the person you love?

I knew nothing about what I had just shared with you when I was involved with my Boyfriend––none. I try to imagine how different the experience would have been for me had I known a fraction of what I know now. To have been that blind and so lacking in self-awareness is now unfathomable to me. And, yet, I know that without having learned the truth about Love and loving myself, I would still be there now. There was a laundry list of injuries hidden deep inside of me at the time that I didn't even know existed. My heart became the burial ground where my childhood self buried the pain and grief I felt and endured when I was young.

 When we work on excavating the root of any injury, we are uprooting the Fear-based ideas, beliefs, and wiring that anchors them inside us. Based on what we learn from our experiences and what Fear and other people teach us, these beliefs begin in the womb and continue throughout childhood and adulthood. Combining all these things becomes what we believe to be the truth about who we are as reflected and impacted by other human beings in our lives.

 It boils down to the fact that all we know about ourselves is what someone else has told us, shown us, or declared, whatever, to be true about us. 'Know thy self' does not happen this way. It is up to us to explore and discover who we are in the heart and soul of us. We must embrace what we feel is true about ourselves, learn to love who we are, and start to walk that self in the world. In doing this, we establish an authentic relationship with ourselves and, thus, can show up authentically and self-aware with everyone else.

Learning to love and, therefore, be in the right relationship with ourselves takes a lot of work. Fear has stacked the deck against us, placing every possible obstacle in our way. If we learn to love ourselves, we will inevitably realize that we have discovered the key to consciously choosing Love as the governing energy of our lives. And, we finally become empowered to let go of our long-standing relationship with Fear. This power that Fear wanted us to believe we never had has always belonged to us. 

Fear has been using the collective power of the human race to fuel its agenda to control the reality and purpose of human existence. Suffice it to say that Fear has a huge investment in keeping us in a permanent dissociative state with ourselves and each other. Without knowing the truth about Love and recognizing our ability to choose it, Fear's design for us as a race of beings has become the only reality for us. Thus, it becomes a permanent one. Whatever your age or state of awareness, in or out of a relationship with another person, if you are reading this information, I am speaking to you. 

Now that you understand Fear's role in running interference in your life, you can begin to imagine what it has and is still doing to you and your relationships. Suppose Fear has kept you from seeing and, therefore, choosing you––first and foremost––as the focus of your Love. How do you imagine it possible that you can leapfrog over that denial of self and give Love (that you don't even have for yourself) to another person? Let logic prevail on this one. There's no possible way that could happen. So, what do we mean without loving ourselves when we say we love another person in a relationship? What are we saying, and what do we want/need/expect/pray for in return for our Love?


Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page