Image: Joanna Kosinska
Welcome to A Writer's Journey, a continuation of 60 days of journal entries leading up to the publication of my book,The Path: A Journey Into The Light: The Journey From Fear To Love. (The first five posts can be found here.)
I felt the need to create a writing category on The Path blog because aside from being a spiritual teacher, I am also a writer and a newly published author.
Although my book is about my spiritual practice as a channel and guide for The Path: A Journey Into The Light, the process I underwent from conception to completion was that of a writer. One whose life was sometimes consumed with uncertainty and struggles, from finding and composing the right words to honing my craft and believing in myself and my dream that finishing my first book and becoming a published author, was real, doable, and within reach.
I'm excited to share my experience walking the path of growth and self-discovery as a writer and human being.
A Tale Of Two Woes: Writing My Purpose
I am fascinated by my new awareness that the thing that most interests me and the area of my true passion is human evolution. Even though I originally titled The Path Book, "The Path From Fear To Love: A Journey In Human Evolution," I wasn't nearly as aware of what that meant to me then. I knew it was true. But. I didn't know how passionately I felt about it, nor did I realize that my profound interest in human evolution was at the root of my deep desire to assist other human beings in healing from their injury in Fear.
What fascinates and excites me is seeing the people I work with make strides in the journey and begin to heal themselves of past family and self-induced injuries; the joy in my heart is unstoppable. I am sometimes overwhelmed with emotion and relief, and yes, the deepened belief that we can, as human beings, change the course of our destiny. What power we have within us to achieve this! And, yet, we know so little about it.
There is such a story to tell about the design of Fear and how it has kept us imprisoned. That's the story I know I need to speak; that is what I desire to write about. It's such a riveting tale––and it's the human tale. The stakes in this game of life are much higher than we have ever imagined.
They have nothing to do with money and wealth and accumulating things only here for our amusement. We have allowed our amusement to become our prison. Fear has seduced and robbed us into settling for so little in exchange for so much. Fear gets our souls; we get nothing. Whatever things we accumulate in this lifetime when we leave here, Fear gets them back. We take nothing of these things with us––only the false beliefs that encouraged and supported us to dupe ourselves by the ease they gave us and the relief from the inner emptiness they, themselves, and our assumptions about them ultimately created.
This truth is the story I will tell in whichever way flows the easiest from my being. I will not struggle with the form and the format; I will write the truth. See how fast my fingers fly over these keys? See how much I can say about what I desire and intend for my writing; why do I ever need to struggle again to write anything? I am writing now, and I am precisely writing what it is I intend to say.
If I struggle, I will lose the passion and the momentum of my thoughts and ideas. I will not trade that for the need, desire, or belief that I should sound and write a certain way or like someone else. Frankly, I don't know how to write like anyone else. I only now realize that I have been attempting to do that which will, of course, impact what I write and how I write it.
I don't know whether or not I am a novelist or short story writer. What I fought the most about writing The Path Book was the nonfiction aspect of it; I wanted to write 'creatively.' But I must write what lives within me from a place of authentic self-expression––not an enforced place of my ideas of self-expression. Writing through The Path Process is about finding the roots of my purpose and direction as a writer.
Case in point: I am also a poet and a lyricist. There is that element of expression that lives happily within me. Grant it; I haven't used it for a while now, but it was my first awareness of my writing ability. That was how the writer in me first appeared. Before that, I attempted to write stories but always felt something was missing. Once I started to write song lyrics, everything changed. I found my voice! It had a way with poetic words and the messages they bring. Without explanation, I abandoned my lyric-writing self one day, and now I must find her again.
It's so telling about the lack of self-worth I was taught to have as a child that I have no regard for how to hold steadfast to my heart, relish, celebrate, and share wholeheartedly the gifts bestowed on me. What a confusing way to exist. There are things that I know I am good at––very good at––yet I treat them pretty shabbily, and I don't allow myself and others to benefit from their offering, not in a bigger and grander way, but in a sharing way. Now, that is going to change.
That is what this journey of exploring my writing through The Path Process is all about for me. This is where I come face to face with my true self and set her on the path of Love. The time is now. My desire and passion are at its peak. I believe so much in my ability to do this.
Despite my damaged self-confidence in all the creative arenas of my life, I think it is possible. My lack of faith comes from my lack of support for myself. I now have to give back to myself––or honestly give for the first time––the Love and encouragement that I need to become, in my life, the brilliant and creative genius deep down inside I've always known I was meant to be.